I miss you jia

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I miss her, I love her so much. She was the love of my life, she still is and will be the only woman I've ever loved.

She is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. I literally dream of her everyday. In another life, I'm married to her. I miss her every moment, I miss all the time we spent together. How did I end up hurting her so much? I wish I did things differently, I wish I didn't hurt her so much, I wish I didn't make her cry so much.

I miss her getting mad at me for not replying sooner, I miss her crying at the stupidest things, she literally cried when I told her about the kinsky situation I mean who does that? She was so stupid, she was so adorable.

I miss her trying to act strong all the time despite being a retard, I miss her telling me about every little insignificant detail of her day. I miss my baby, I miss her calling my baby. I miss her face, I miss waking up everyday and wondering how on earth did I pull this supermodel. She was the prettiest girl in the world, I wish she could see herself from my eyes. I hurt her so much, so so much.

I wish there was no distance between us. I was so horrible to her, I never even got her flowers, never got her food, never got her anything. I couldn't make her believe that I loved her.

I couldn't make her believe that she indeed was my carol. I think of her everytime I see the sky, I think of her everytime I make noodles, I think of her everytime I breathe. I can't get her out of my mind. She was my rock, She was my strength.

She was the best girlfriend anyone could have ever asked for, and she would have been the most amazing wife ever.

And she was, in everything but name, my wife. She taught me how to be a better man. She taught me what love is. Whatever I am, whoever I will be, I will always have her in me. Everyone who meets me will meet her, and everyone who loves me will love her too.

She deserved so much better. She was the personification of love itself. I loved how much she loved her family, how much she loved her brother, and her friends but she could give all that up for me, in a second. She loved me so much. I've never felt so loved in my life. She ordered me food when I skipped dinner, she told me bedtime stories when I couldn't sleep, she stayed w me before NEET making sure I was feeling okay.

But I just kept hurting her more and more. I wasn't there for her after her surgery, and I kept being mad at her for some guy she didn't even like. I didn't thank her for everything she did for me while I still had her. She was the prettiest, sweetest, most amazing person I've ever met. Even during fights, she would always try to listen to my side. She didn't hate me, she wasn't my enemy. I couldn't see past my own self to notice how much she was hurting too. I said things that I didn't mean, and they hurt her so much. I made her feel ashamed of herself.

But it's over now, I pray to god she gets all the happiness she deserves. I love you jia, I love you so much.