I got diagnosed with severe anxiety due to my work.

Back when I was still unemployed, I never really experienced symptoms of severe anxiety. I was actually pretty happy during that time. When I finally got a job, though, things started to change.

At first, I thought there was something wrong with my lungs because I had experienced asthma before. The symptoms I was feeling: shortness of breath and difficulty breathing are common signs of asthma, so naturally, that was my first assumption.

I told my parents about it, and we looked for a hospital that would accept my HMO. During my checkup, the doctor recommended that I get a chest X-ray to see if there was actually a problem with my lungs. When the results came back, it turned out that my lungs were completely healthy.

I was honestly shocked. If my lungs were fine, then what exactly was I feeling? Looking back, that was when I started considering the possibility that what I was experiencing might have been anxiety rather than a physical lung problem.

The doctor then started asking me a series of questions about my mental health and whether I had been dealing with a lot of stress lately. After going through everything, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety.

Then came the prescriptions. The doctor gave me antidepressants to help manage my anxiety and instructed me to take them as needed. Honestly, I hated taking them. They made me feel numb and emotionless, like a muted version of myself. But despite that, they helped quiet the constant stream of anxious thoughts in my head and kept my body from going into overdrive whenever something triggered my anxiety.

The doctor even suggested that I resign from my job to reduce my stress levels. But realistically, I couldn’t do that. In this economy? Not a chance.

So yeah, what started as a fear that something was wrong with my lungs ended with a diagnosis of severe anxiety. It wasn’t exactly the answer I expected, but at least it explained a lot. Life hasn’t magically become easier since then, but I’ve learned to live with it, adapt, and keep showing up even on the days when my brain makes that feel like the hardest thing in the world.

- J