Am I cooked late 30s?

basically went the self employed/entrepreneur route my whole life. Do it alone. basically business is underwater- trying to liquidate as much as I can

currently no debt.

Live with roommate in HCOL city

I haven't contributed anything this year into retirement (overall about 100k~)

What can I do to have some sort of stability? I have all the free time in the world but feel so behind and it's like I'm completely starting from scratch. Would eventually want a family but that seems so distance/never will happen for me.

why did I screw my life up?