I'm failing my community

I can't help but feel like I'm failing my own community. I'm a genderfluid person, so I should be having solidarity with others like me, but instead I'm getting angry because other queer people are being rightfully rude online when complaining about the queerphobia around the world. Even when I donate directly and help people, something that used to bring me peace of mind, I just think that it's not enough and that I spend more on food and coffee like well-meaning "allies". Even the fact that I'm genderfluid, as I feel a lot like my birth gender and instead identify as the other at certain, random parts of the week; it just feels like I'm an "ally" who's trying too hard and wants to force themselves in the community.