Lebanese yogurt pasta made by me. 

I’ve been through so much, I genuinely never saw this as something that would ever happen. I never thought I’d ever have genuine feelings for a man, and now is such a strange time in my life. He’s so kind, patient, understanding, and very conventionally attractive. I have no idea why he’s into me as much as he is. I met him through my brother, they were housed in the same unit in (wait for it) prison together. I know, I know, but right now I’m just enjoying how things are going. I don’t really have any expectations (other than him treating me right, obviously. I mean as in I never expected to be with a man, so this is all catching me off guard. I’m just going with the flow) which he has been treating me great so far. I have multiple chronic illnesses and genuinely didn’t see myself as someone in the position to date, then this just happened? We’ve been talking since October, at first I basically told him nothing will ever come of it, I’m not into men… then something changed on my end? I don’t even know how to explain it. He’s the first man (and genuinely the only man) I’ve liked like this. If I wasn’t with him, I wouldn’t be with any man. Men, to be blunt… genuinely disgust me (sorry, lol) but not him. He’s seen me at my absolute worst, going through the worst (and I mean THE worst), a crying mess, in chronic pain, and he’s still interested in me. He’s been there in ways my friends haven’t even bothered. He has really been my rock, and I’ve been his, and he’s not perfect (nobody is) but I don’t know, I really like him a lot. 

On FaceTime the other day, he whispered that he loved me as we were getting off the phone. I was genuinely taken aback, and said “huh??” and he goes “I said goodnight” anyways, I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t really care, I’m just happy in a way I haven’t been in forever. He’s such a gentleman, he has a daughter (who I of course have no plans on meeting for a long time, she comes first) and I don’t know. I’m 27 & again: never. thought. this. would. happen. All I know is I’d be devastated if I ever lost him or he perused someone else. 

edit: oh, and I met his family over FaceTime already, and he’s met mine. both of us have not the most stable families, so we understand each other in that aspect, too. 

Identified as a lesbian for a year, now I’m falling in love with a man