Do u fear people judging u for failing in neet like relatives friends and obviously family members

Cuz like most of the people I was also topper throughout school then neet happened. Took a drop year. Thought I will make it. my cousins are also giving neet this time and I am going to give it for 3rd time as a first dropper lol. Everyone is doing better than me. My batchmates from school already joined pvt college last year. They will be in 2nd year soon. I feel like I am already so behind everyone. My sibling is in final year and soon will complete his degree. My parents will keep comparing me to all those in my family who will crack neet. I don't feel anything. I got panic attacks like three times in this whole journey and I still don't know how to express all this. No one cares literally no one. It's not even that I am giving up. I am ready to take another drop but parents are not ok with that. I feel like even if I take some other course like bds or bams Still they won't be satisfied. Even I started this journey to make my parents proud but I couldn't. Instead I fucked up my own mental health and peace.n don't judge me for my username it's a misnomer.