Drained..

I’ve been dealing with so many feelings and emotions this past month, and even more this past week. I lost my job on Friday, and my grandfather passed away on Monday morning. However, the bright side is I’m starting college this fall for nursing :) and my boyfriend pays all the bills around the house, and hopefully I’ll start watching his daughter throughout the day and can help us save money. So it’s not like my livelihood will be changed at all.

But this weekend?? It’s been rough. When my dad died, I felt very numb and just did my best not to think about it. Out of sight, out of mind. I’m doing the same thing with my grandfathers passing. On top of all this, I want another baby. SO. BAD. And my period is late, but I feel like it’ll come eventually and I’ll be yet again disappointed. I’m just empty and struggling emotionally. My life is easy, thanks to my boyfriend. All I have to do is clean, but man, it’s difficult to get out of bed! He doesn’t understand and was very rude to me when I expressed my feelings to him. He said something about sleeping for the rest of my life.. which wasn’t helpful at all. I obviously am not gonna break up with him, but I might, I don’t know, start sleeping on the couch or something. We definitely owes me an apology. Right? For making me feel even more shitty when I’m already going through a difficult time? It’s not like I’ll be like this forever.