I just want to feel held

I’m so tired of feeling incompetent at my job even though I have a few years of valuable experience under my belt. I’m tired of having to explain my background because I didn’t finish school right away or passed my exams on the first try. I’m tired of looking like a child because I can’t contain my emotions due to anxiety or calm myself down fast enough before someone else sees. I’m tired of attracting romantic attention only for the person to start projecting their insecurities onto me, only to turn into my biggest bully. I’m tired of being misunderstood and not getting the benefit of the doubt. I’m tired of not understanding what I did wrong and no one explaining it to me when I try to make things right.

I’m just tired and need to get it out. Thank you for reading.