Getting things in order

Trying to go to technical school soon, trying to get everything in order. New job kept screwing me over, I’ve seen the pattern before so I already lined up my old job for Monday and quit on my terms before they could even get the chance.

I need stability, and I’m working towards my art side hustle. First paycheck on Friday gets split between rent and car maintenance. Tax Return is going towards my over 21 DL and School application fees. Whatever is left over is going towards rent, food, gas, and acquiring an airbrush for the art hustle in the future.

I still have my vendor event for July 31st, hope that doesn’t bail on me. I still think about her, and it’s only the second day but each day without a response brings less and less hope for her. More and more hope for another person that’s willing to choose me, unlike her right now. Unfortunately, I still don’t feel secure enough to take anyone out on a date.

I feel stuck in my romantic life, I just want someone to hold me, to hold them, to have passionate physical intimacy. I want someone to be a witness and share the load of life, I wanted it to be her but the longer she doesn’t choose me or open up, it’s exactly that and I’ll move on with whoever is compatible and meets my standards.