I need some serious relationship advice.

Hi,
I (27M) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for almost two years now. I have been struggling a lot with our relationship recently and I feel like I need to end it.

For context, he is extremely sweet and caring, but he has had a rough experience growing up. He was in a large family and his mom was a hoarder (She currently has 15+ cats and 10+ dogs as an example). This lead to a messy house and him developing pretty bad OCD. I have known him for a likely around 8 years through playing video games. A few years ago we started talking kore and hit it off. We had a lot in common and I liked how sweet he was. We started dating quickly, and a week later I picked him up to have him visit me. He ended up staying with me for good starting then.

I knew he hadn’t had a full time job or drivers license when we started dating and he moved in, but I didn’t understand how hard it would be to have him be able to do adult things independently. Since he has moved in, I had to really push him and guide him on how to do things that his parents should have had him do when growing up. He didn’t have an ID, a bank account, or anything of the sort.

I have a full time professional job and have owned a home since I was 23. I have been able to provide for both of us by working a second job as a server for some extra money. He has worked for about 3/4 months since we have been together. When he has a job he complains about how tired it makes him. I understand that what he has done for work isn’t the most thrilling and are not easy jobs (Working as a house cleaner or in a greenhouse), but he has not been stable at working any of them.

I still care about him a lot, but I am really exhausted. I am thinking about my future and I want to be with someone who is more of a partner. Someone who can plan a date and bring us somewhere. Someone who doesn’t need me to do everything in the relationship. I don’t see this dynamic changing in the next few years and I don’t want to feel trapped anymore.

I have a few problems with breaking up…
First, I am really worried I will regret it. I care about him a lot. We have a lot in common and he is extremely sweet. I think he is attractive and it really just comes down to our disconnect on work ethic and where we are in our lives. If we do break up, there would be no take backs and I am scared because I know I will miss him.

Second, I am worried about him hurting himself when we break up. He would have to move back home (a few hours away). His mom’s house is no different from before and I am worried that sending him back there will break him. He has always said that I saved him and I would feel horrible sending him back.

I really think breaking up is the right choice, but I am unsure… If I do go through with it I am scared that he wont be alright. I am really torn and need some advice.