Wall up sometimes when therapy starts…

I’m a very introspective person and am often thinking about how I’m going to formulate my words for therapy. I generally have a lot to say. But when therapy time comes I tend to walk up a bit and have a hard time actually saying what I’m feeling… I want to, but my mind tells me- “what you think is stupid, he sees it as unimportant- he can see why you would struggle in life”. I push through it as much as I can.

But I wonder why I feel this way?

I’ve been in therapy with him for 1.5 years. And I was referred to him because so stuck with him although I never would have picked a male therapist.