I shouldn’t, But I do.

No better way to start this. I miss you. I avoid it. But it lingers like glitter on the carpet. Some days I can push it away. These past few days I just can’t. I won’t unblock you. I won’t message you. We both needed NC. I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this. So I sit here in the void as my last chance to escape. Why do you matter so much to me? Why can’t I just let go? You’ve moved on…why can’t I? I know healing has no timeline, but I wish I could heal faster. I miss your little quirks. Like the random tism moments in your car. All hyped up on caffeine never failed to give me a genuine laugh. I don’t want to go into detail or reveal to much. I just really miss you and want a long soul craving hug.