BSDO or apply out for MDs

Guys, I’m kind of lost and would appreciate some advice. 🥹🥹🙏🫶

I’m an international student on an F-1 visa and an upcoming sophomore in a BS/DO program with Midwestern CCOM.

Right now, I have the option to graduate college in 3 years and directly matriculate into Midwestern. It would save time and money, and it’s definitely the safer path.

At the same time, part of me isn’t ready to settle on one path yet. I’ve been wondering if I should stay for 4 years and maybe apply for a full tuition coverage next year, explore more opportunities, maybe add a minor, and apply out to MD schools as an international student.

Lately I’ve also been questioning how I spend my time. I did research with a professor during freshman year, and this summer I’ll be doing research at MD Anderson. But sometimes I feel like I’m doing things because I think medical schools want to see them rather than because I enjoy them.

For example, I know hospital volunteering is valuable, but after a while I find myself wondering if spending hundreds of hours escorting patients is really helping me grow as much as spending that time reading, developing better habits, learning new skills, exercising, or exploring interests outside of medicine. I don’t know if that’s me being lazy or just trying to find a healthier balance.

I love medicine, but I don’t want my entire college experience to become a checklist of activities just to build the perfect application for A PERSONALIZED WHY MED

The truth is, I feel like I spent freshman year having fun and adjusting to college more than intentionally building toward anything. I want to explore who I am, but at the same time I feel less organized and disciplined than I was in high school.

For those who were in BS/DO programs, applied MD from a guaranteed pathway, or went through the process as international students:

Would you stay in the BS/DO and graduate in 3 years?
Or would you apply out MD?
Is it normal to feel this lost after freshman year?
Any advice would be appreciated 🥹

Sorry it’s long… hope yall have a good day🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️