I’m finally able to be myself…now what?

I (26f) finally was able to really break away from my family & the cycle I kept throwing myself into. For so long I felt like I would enjoy men if I tried harder, if I tried hard enough I’d like it or be happy. I never was. When I was young, I always liked girls. I had shoved all those feelings aside after my family shamed me away from it & I would try and just avoid it. Even when I had feelings, I would try and drown them out with heteronormativity to try and fit in the mold I felt I needed to be in. I basically spent the first 25 years of my life trying to make everyone but myself happy.

I sat with myself this last year, as I finally got my own place & started doing it all on my own and stopped seeking validation from anyone else. I finally was able to unpack all of the feelings Ive had for years, & I realized that I have no desire to have a romantic or physical relationship with men. I was always just doing what I thought I had to do. I can’t even start to describe how much pressure it took off my shoulders when I set myself free from this shitty idea that I have to be exactly how my mom wants me to be to be happy. I’m so fucking happy now! I feel lighter, clearer, calmer. Like I’m finally not fighting against myself anymore.

I finally decided to tell a close friend, and kinda just came out to them? I confessed my nerves in trying again after all these years to date women again. They pushed me to just start talking to people and be myself and try! I was really nervous at first but after talking to a few people I ended up matching with a really incredible girl. She’s so cool, so sweet, and just stunning. I don’t want to mess things up, but I am terrified to tell her that I spent the last 10 years dating mainly men, and I haven’t been intimate with a woman since I was in high school. What if she thinks I’m gross? What if I’m not good at it? I’m just so nervous. What should I do? How should I say things? Do I tell her I have little experience or just do my best? Is there a book on this?!?! Help!