I hate the town i’ve been living in for two years and feel that it’s set me back in life

for context, i’m from a pretty developed area, suburban but very close to metropolitan. i’ve lived there my whole life (i’m 25 now) and that’s where my parents still live. i’ve never had plans of living here forever i def wanna move out of state and explore, but for the time being i don’t have plans to do so.

i got pregnant and had my baby in 2024, my daughters dad was living almost a couple hours away in a rundown, cheap to live town. bc of that, i ended up moving in with him and have been here ever since. he has other kids who live in the area (but rarely gets to see them) and has a bunch of friends out here (he’s been here 13 years, originally from fl). idc how rude im ab to sound bc ive been depressed and unhappy living here for two years. i have no friends or family out here and no job either. our relationship history is another issue i won’t get into. but i absolutely am miserable, i’ve tried to get involved w the community but i just can’t. it’s a very poor area with a lot of uneducated people, low life’s with 3-5 kids and 2-3 baby dads / baby moms, lots of drugs and just is a dead end town fr.

i’m sick of living here i literally can’t go much longer- waiting for our lease to be up is pushing me to my limit. i convinced my bf to move closer to my parents and we’re waiting to get jobs out there. recently he just switched jobs (same location) and he will talk ab moving and then make comments ab staying at this new job for some time. it confuses me and i honestly don’t know what he wants to do fr. i’ve sacrificed so much of my life to move out here so we could be a family. he knows i hate it here and he claims he does too, but whenever i talk shit ab this town he gets defensive and says i’m too judgemental. his bms are all white trash from this town so i guess im not surprised. but he’s not even from here!!!!!

going through motherhood alone with no support nearby has been very isolating and i think ive lost myself through all this. i have no motivation, im tired all the time, i have trouble communicating w my bf ab how im feeling bc im mentally drained and feel foggy. one of the obstacles for this move is that this town is a lot more affordable than where my parents are and we don’t make a whole lot atm. im in school getting my masters, almost done. he’s trying to get his associates (not almost done). we would need well paying jobs out there to be able to afford rent and bills but im honestly willing to do whatever it takes to get there. i just feel like i can’t be the best mom i can be, the best version of me, or progress at all while living here. does this make sense? i’m so sad that im going to end up stuck here longer than what he’s saying…….