I [23M] had a bad fight with my girlfriend [22F] and since then our relationship has been feeling distant. Need perspectives.

I don’t really want to get into details about our fight, but it was pretty bad. Almost break-up levels of bad. We talked things out and eventually I thought she was fine because she was talking to me normally. Also quick note that we are currently long-distance. This fight happened a few days before I was set to fly over to her city and spend the week with her, and so I was glad when she seemed to be feeling better.

While I was here on the first day, she talked to me just fine and she even laid down in my lap for a while when we were playing board games with our friends, so nothing seemed wrong. By the second day, this changed. She doesn’t feel comfortable holding my hand, or giving me hugs, and I honestly feel really sad about it. I had been looking forward to being physically affectionate with her (not sex, that’s really not what i mean by this), and so it makes me kinda sad that she’s pushing away. I asked her why, and she gave me 2 different reasons. First reason was that doing it at home felt awkward, especially if someone was home, even if not in the same room, and the second was because of our fight. Turns out, the fight was still in the back of her mind, and made it feel awkward for her to want to be touched.

Believe me, I really want to be understanding. I just feel really rejected and unloved because of this, and I also feel very confused because in all other aspects she is talking to me completely fine. Sometimes she will come close to me herself, like lean on my shoulder, lay on my lap, or poke me with her feet. It makes me really confused on what I should do because ultimately the thing I am hearing is that she doesn’t want me to touch her, but she seems fine to poke around at me. It also makes me a little bitter when I see her hugging her friends goodbye but I’ve so far only gotten a pat on the back or a hand wave.

I don’t know how to approach the topic again. I feel like I’ve talked about it a few different times in a few different ways, and I’m worried that if I keep bringing it up she’s going to start feeling like I’m just trying to get grabby with her, when that’s not true at all. I just really miss her from being long-distance, and with my trip ending in a few days I really want to be able to do some of the things couples do. Right now, I feel more like a friend. Actually, I feel exactly like a friend. I’m being treated as just a friend and I don’t like that, but I want to be understanding of her reasons.

How do I navigate this?