Seeing a woman and man next to eachother makes me suicidal

Just seeing a couple outside or even online in a video/photo, and god the differences between their shoulders, hips, waist, neck, face, literally everything, the women's smaller frame, thin neck, wide hips and thicker thighs and smaller feet and hands, and the man's adam apple and pronounced thicker neck, bigger frame and wider shoulders, longer torso and small hips all makes me suicidal and realize that'll IWNMI. it all just makes me realize the differences between female and male that I'll probably never ever be able to change about myself unless I luckily get a huge amount of money for surgeries.

why just why wasn't i born a cis male. shit ill just take being a woman thats okay with being a female instead of this shit i just want to be normal and cis not a disgusting pooner i wish my body produced testosterone naturally i dont want to inject it like a fake man i just want to be a normal natural one fuck my life iwnbam iwnbam