My birth story (sorry it’s long winded!)

Sorry this is so long! Writing it out was very therapeutic! Happy to answer any questions.

Quick background:
This was my second unmedicated birth. I deliver at a hospital with an amazing group of midwives. My firstborn was delivered 19 months ago. With my firstborn, I was induced at 37 weeks due to hypertension and preeclampsia. The induction was 44 hours long, with back labor throughout the entirety. I never felt a single contraction, only an intense pain in my back with no breaks. My firstborn had a great latch but I struggled to produce milk and had to triple feed for nearly 3 months postpartum.

This year is my healing birth story.

I woke up in the middle of the night/early morning hours on May 31st with surges. I was 39weeks and 4 days. I decided not to check my phone for the time as I didn’t want to get in my head about being up all night and losing sleep. Instead, I tried to relax my body as best I could and tried to sleep between surges. This initially didn’t work so well, I tried for a while and finally looked at the time. It was around 4am. I decided to really try and relax so I could rest, not knowing how long labor would last. I was not sure if I was actually sleeping but realized I was because I was having so many dreams! I awoke at 7:30 to my 19 month-old in his room saying “mama” and “dada”. I went in and got my son, unsure if this would be our last day of just us two.

I then let my husband know I was having regular surges and that this might be the day. I kept myself busy by doing some household chores- washed and changed my bedding. Did some of my sons and my laundry.

Around 9:30am I decided it was a good time to have my husband put my Obi TENS on me. Wow! It was so effective and really helped me to remain relaxed and lessened any intensity I was feeling. Yay for the boost function on my TENS!

I snuggled with my son and tried to nurse him, but found it made my surges unnecessarily intense so stopped nursing. My husband offered to take my son out for a stroller ride so I could have so quiet time at home. At this point it was around 9:30 and I decided to time my surges so I could get a better idea of where things were at. I also continued to work on laundry and cleaning. After an hour, my surges were on average 4 and a half minutes apart and lasting just over a minute. I decided to call the midwife on call and let her know what was going on. We decided since I was easily walking and talking through my surges (there were only a few that I needed to vocalize through), and because I live just 10 minutes from the hospital I was fine to stay home and that she would call me back later that day if she didn’t hear from me again.

An hour later, my son and husband returned from their walk. Despite surges being more intense when nursing, I decided to lie down with my son and nurse him to sleep for his nap as I wasn’t sure how much longer we would have our sweet one on one time.

While nursing and napping with my son to my surprise my surges actually became more spread out. I had anywhere from 6 minutes to seven and a half minutes between surges. At this point I was slightly confused as to why they were longer apart but decided not to overthink it. My son and I snuggled and nursed while he napped for about an hour and a half. I should add that during this time, when a surge started I would use my Gentle Birth surge timer- this timer became a a tool I loved throughout the labor process. I loved watching the seconds go by and knowing that I was about to peak and that the surge would go down in intensity. This replaced my need for the mantra I practiced — “I can do anything for a minute.” I also loved the narrator on the timer. She reminded me to breathe and relax my shoulders — it was perfect for me. I also was still using my TENS unit at this time and using the boost function with each surge. Lastly I was practicing “slow breathing.” This is the breathing method where you inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 6 or more seconds.

When my son woke up, I got up with him and snacked on some crackers. Once upright again, my surges were quickly more intense and closer together. Now like every 3 and a half to 4 minutes apart. I vocalized through a few of the surges and had two very intense surges that felt different - they started off normal but at the peak I felt them deep in my pelvis almost like they were right at my cervix or vagina.

My husband offered to take my son out for awhile to I could lie back down. Once back in bed, my surges slowed down again. Some times they were 6, 9, and 13 minutes apart, sometimes they’d come back to being more like 4 and 5 minutes apart. At this point, I was convinced I wasn’t in labor but was experiencing prodromal labor. I could not think of another explanation as to why my surges didn’t seem to have a consistent pattern. The only thing that remained consistent is that they were always about 1 minute and 15 seconds long and peaked at around 37-39 seconds. Overall the intensity remained basically the same aside from the two really intense surges I had when upright. But given they mellowed out in timing when I was lying down this seemed like a hallmark of false/prodromal labor. I got a little panicked that this could last for days- but then I recentered my focus. I turned off my TENS unit (but kept it on) because I decided if this was prodromal labor, I’d want to save my TENS for the real thing. I continued to watch my surges on my timer I felt relaxed this whole time.

After resting for about 2 hours I realized I hadn’t felt my baby move much at all that day. I didn’t even feel him have hiccups which he normally had throughout the day. Something in me told me I needed to call my midwife and update her on my situation. At 3:30pm I spoke to my midwife. Let her know I thought I was merely experiencing prodromal labor due to my surges spreading out so much. I then let her know I was concerned that I hadn’t felt baby move much that day. She requested I come in for monitoring.

I told my husband what was going on and let him know it was just for monitoring so we would come back home shortly if baby was healthy. My husband decided we should pack our hospital bags into the car just incase. We held off on calling my sister to pick up my toddler since we weren’t thinking we’d be at the hospital long.

On the 13 minute car ride to the hospital I had 3 surges — they were back coming close together. I decided to turn my TENS back on. My husband dropped me off at the front doors and I waited for him and my toddler on a bench inside as they parked the car. We then all headed up to labor and delivery. And arrived around 4:10. Once on the unit, while walking into my triage room I had a sure. The nurse offered to have me stop walking and hold onto the railing on the wall. I kept walking and let her know it wasn’t necessary. I really felt just fine.

After I got settled, and was hooked up to the monitors they realized baby’s heart rate was having rapid decelerations. My midwife asked if I had hydrated much that day and I realized I really hadn’t. My midwife then asked if I was ok with having an iv started as she thought maybe baby was on his umbilical cord and rapid hydration could help. I consented to this. Unfortunately the iv did not make a difference, there were now multiple providers in my room trying to help locate baby’s heart rate, as it was becoming difficult to find. They had me on all fours as this was the best position for finding the heart rate. Baby’s heart rate continued to drop significantly and then would come back up. However, my midwife was concerned because the deceleration wasn’t aligning with when I was having surges which can be typical in labor.

My midwife then asked if I would be alright with a cervical check. She informed me that due to baby’s heart rate and the inability to get a consistent read of it with the external monitor, she wanted to use an internal monitor but I needed to be at least 2 cm dilated and have my waters broken for this to work. I consented to the cervical check and to placing the internal monitor. Both of these interventions felt medically necessary to me. I requested that I have nitrous for the cervical check.

As I was waiting on nitrous, my sweet midwife held my hand and let me know that the water birth I was hoping for may not be an option for me as his heart rate was dropping so often. She also informed me that depending on what results we get from further monitoring, it may be that a cesarean will be recommended. This is because she did not feel comfortable inducing me with drugs at this time since baby appeared already in distress. I then suddenly got shakey and shivery. My midwife held my hand through the shakes.

I teared up but also kept breathing, and in that moment felt totally at peace with the fact that my plans may change. My goal was ultimately to have a healthy baby and however the needed to happen I was at peace with. I also felt extremely lucky to be working with the midwife I had that day. She was one of my favorites from my prenatal appointments, and was so gentle, good at explaining risks and benefits, and always ensured I was well informed in my decisions and that I gave consent to any procedures.

Once the nitrous arrived I waited for my next surge to pass, breathed in nitrous and told my midwife to go ahead with the cervical check. The cervical check wasn’t uncomfortable at all but it felt like it lasted a while. I was dreading hearing that I was only 1 or 2 cm dilated or not dilated at all.

To my surprise, and everyone else’s — I was at 9.5 cm! I cried and laughed so hard when I was informed of this. No one could believe I was so far along as I had walked in so calmly and talked fine through every surge. My midwife laughed and said “no wonder you were shakey, you were in transition!” At this point, my sister had arrived, and was in the hallway with my husband and toddler. I asked my midwife to inform my husband that I was dilated 9.5 cm.

The nurses then let me know a delivery room was ready. I hopped off the table and walked down to my room with my husband still in complete disbelief that baby was coming so soon!!

Once in the bed in the delivery room, my midwife asked for permission to break my waters then to place the monitor on baby’s head. I gave her permission. Again, this to me all felt medically necessary.

Once my waters were broken I had a massive surge — not painful just big feeling. I breathed in the nitrous and reminded myself repeatedly to make my exhale longer than the inhale. They tried twice to get the monitor on baby’s scalp but it was no use, it wouldn’t take.

Shortly after, I had another huge surge and immediately started pushing. The whole room was cheering me on! I kept up with the nitrous and boosted my TENS (which I forgot I had on!!) and made sure my exhales were nice and long.

Two more contractions came and I pushed but wasn’t using my full energy — I think I perhaps was in disbelief that baby was coming. Also the ring of fire was rather intense. At the point I remember having a moment of clarity that I’m doing this and baby is near.

When the tird contraction began I pushed with more energy everyone was affirming me and telling me one more push and baby would be out. I remember for a moment doubting this and thinking “they’re just telling me that.” I ignored that voice and pushed with all my energy and held my husband hand and out came my baby boy! He started crying very loudly shortly after and went right on my chest.

The whole thing was so surreal. Like 30 minutes prior I was convinced I was simply experiencing prodromal labor. I feel so great my intuition told me to call my midwife about the decreased fetal movement. I later learned I had a very long umbilical cord that was wrapped around baby’s neck twice and shoulders once and that he likely was experiencing dips in heart rate because of this.

I had one first degree tear that my midwife said could either be stitched or not. I asked my midwife what the benefit of getting stitches would be and she said it would likely heal faster but otherwise there was not a benefit. I decided to get stitches to accelerate the healing process. I received a local anesthetic and a few stitches. I nursed my baby who had a great latch while I was stitched up.

After delivering I was able to get up and move and used the bathroom independently.

Another huge win for me was that my son had a great latch and loved to nurse for long periods right away. My firstborn was a very sleepy baby and had a hard time feeding. It was such a relief that my second born fed so easily and didn’t lose too much weight after birth!

My husband and I were discharged the following day.

I used to roll my eyes when people said they weren’t in pain in labor. But I can honestly say at no point was I in pain. I feel so thrilled about my birthing experience.

Since being home things have gone well. Of course it’s a major adjustment to have two under two but my toddler is doing amazingly well with the adjustment. I’m tandem nursing. My milk came in day three. I think my toddler really boosted my supply.

Tools I utilized most:
-Obi TENS Unit.
-Gentle Birth Hypnobirthing App- did not use while in labor but used for labor prep beginning in my first trimester.
-Slow Breathing- this is the method of breathing in for 4 seconds and out for 6 seconds or longer. I practiced this regularly on my own and on my Gentle Birth App.
-Gentle Birth surge timer- the true hero of my labor and totally unexpected. I thought watching the timer would not be beneficial but it gave me something to focus on and I loved being able to anticipate when my surges would peak and then come back down.
-Nitrous- helped me breathe while getting cervical exam, having waters, broken, have internal fetal monitoring placed, and during pushing.
-Pelvic floor therapy- practiced throughout my entire pregnancy.
-Taking care of my body when pregnant- this looks different for everyone obviously. For me this involved watching my diet carefully so I gained 25 pounds by week 40; staying active (this is easy to do when your a stay at home mom with a busy toddler); resting everyday twice a day with my toddler as he napped (I used this time to rest, practice hypnobirthing and breath work, read positive birth stories, and educate myself on labor); taking baby asprin daily (due to history of gestational hypertension and preeclampsia); using MiraLAX daily to deal with pregnancy constipation (unfortunately no amount of water or fiber would work, MiraLAX was a life saver and good for my pelvic floor to not be constipated like I was during my first pregnancy); taking Unisome nightly to ensure a good nights rest (I have a history of sleep issues which are exasperated by pregnancy).
-Dates- I started eating deglet dates at 36 weeks pregnant. I ordered a 4 pound bag of organic deglet dates on Amazon for $30. I like deglets because they are less sweet than medjool and buying them on Amazon saved a lot of money.
-Nursing- my midwife told me nursing my son while in labor was a great way to move labor along.

Tools that I never used/or ended up not benefiting me:
-Being up and moving around- while this felt good early in the day by mid morning I felt much better lying on my side and experiencing each surge as I breathed, looked at my surges timer, and listened to the guidance on my Gentle Birth surge timer.
-Birth comb- never used it.
-Hypnobirthing tracks- they were great as I prepped for labor throughout my pregnancy but at no point in labor did I use them, all the practice paid off as I was completely present, relaxed and confident.
-Water- was risked out of birthing in tub so I never used hydrotherapy.
-Counter pressure- never felt the need to ask for it during labor.
-Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth- for whatever reason this book was not a good fit for me. The labor stories didn’t resonate with me (unlike the ones on this sub). Also, my best friend’s father spent some of his childhood growing up at The Farm and from what he’s shared it wasn’t a good experience but rather culty and he and other children experienced neglect while there. This may have colored my view of the book.

I hope my story gives hope to anyone who had a difficult first labor that perhaps didn’t go how you had envisioned. That future births, breastfeeding, and postpartum in general can be so different!! The birth of my second born was so redemptive and healing. But also was a walk in the park, calm, and somewhat effortless. Hats off to all the mamas here but special recognition to those with inductions, back labor, and multi day laboring. For me, those three factors made my first birth so much more difficult and frankly, traumatic. This likely will be my last child. I’m so sad to never experience pregnancy and childbirth again but feel so grateful for both my birthing experiences.