I don’t know what to do about my family

Background: I (24, f) am 3/4ths Arab and 1/4 American. My mother is half American half Arab. My mother’s side of the family consists of a brother and a her two sisters. My mother’s family grew up in the Middle East for a good portion of their life. My mom decided to stay in the Middle East where she met my dad, got married and had me and my two older sisters (32 and 30) whereas my uncle decided to move to the states for law school then move back to the Middle East (then retired in the states) and my aunts went to the states for good. My sisters and I were all raised in the Middle East and my immediate family has lived there their entire lives (except for college). My sisters align more with their American parts while I have always aligned more with my Arab culture. No judgement, that’s always how it’s been and it’s fine! My sisters have always been closer to my uncle and aunts. When I had the chance to visit my family in the states, I was not as welcomed. This is for a lot of reasons, my aunt just had a son when I came to visit and I was riddled with undiagnosed ADHD that termed me as the wild and annoying kid compared to my siblings. My aunt was describing me as a kid a few hours ago and she always said I scared her and her husband as a child (6 yrs old btw) so they didn’t try to get close to me. Fair enough ig lol.

Issue: I currently live in the UK and came to the states for a conference. After the conference I decided to go and visit my mom’s side of the family for her sake. I’ve never been close to them, but since my mom can’t travel anywhere due to the war that’s going on, she asked me to go on her behalf. She knows I’m not very close to them, but she doesn’t know that I don’t like them. The issue is they are the most hateful people I have met. They constantly say how much they hate Arabs and believe them to be barbarians. They don’t believe that all people (no matter what race, gender, sexuality, etc) were created equal. The term “white is right” goes on a lot whenever I’m around. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand my heritage or my culture being hated on or the blatant disrespect for literally everybody that isn’t white. And not just that, but my parents and siblings still love them unconditionally !! (Side note: me and my immediate family do NOT share their mentality when it comes to these hateful notions about equality)

I don’t see how they can love my mother’s family so unconditionally when they don’t receive that same respect back?! And not just that, how could you love a “family” that wouldn’t give two shits if you died tomorrow. My mother has been in and out of the hospital and yet none of my mother’s side of the family have been to the Middle East to visit her or have even called to ask about her. Yet my mom came to live in with my aunts In the states when they were ill. My aunt has gotten herself into debt and my mother has paid that off for her so many times (it’s not like my mom is rich, she’s a teacher damn it. She has put herself into debt to relieve my aunts debt). My uncle literally stopped talking to my mom for 10 yrs when she married my father because he was Arab !!

They “love” the 1/4th white of us but they refuse to acknowledge us being Arab (or my mom’s sibling being half Arab)!! They all have brown skin and say it’s cause they tan easily (even in the dead of winter?? Bsffr). My aunt has asked me countless times when will my father “sell me off” or if my dad will allow my husband to beat me ??? Like maam you literally had an Arab father and grew up in the Middle East where did you get this idea from ??? My mother has been happily married for 30 years to my Arab father and that’s how you see your brother-in-law after 30 years?? She asked me if my father allows me to get an education as I’m literally in my 2nd year of my PhD ??? My other aunt is the same, she hates everything about me and hates when I speak Arabic or even gets mad when I try to talk about the experiences I had while studying in the states during my undergraduate degree cause she doesn’t believe people could be racist to me cause I’m 1/4th white !!! They have asked me if I ever tried to tell the racists that I’m 1/4th white, like that would make anything better !!! They shouldn’t be racist to anybody ever like wtf??

I’m confused how my siblings look past this. I want to understand their perspective. It’s pissing me off so much cause they’re messaging me saying you’re so lucky to be with them aren’t you so happy ??? Like no I’m at my breaking point every single day defending myself and literal strangers at every turn. This is supposed to be my vacation and I’m here getting insulted for not being white constantly. I don’t know how to make the best of this vacation. I’m burnt out and all I want to do is sleep but I’ve become the errand girl for my family in the states and I’m so tired. I barely get enough rest as it is and now I feel I have to defend myself at every turn. I’m not going to leave prematurely because this means everything to my mom. I genuinely grit my teeth and smile because I know she loves them with all her heart even if it pains her

I want three things out of this post

1. To vent, obviously lol
2. Ways to make the best out of my vacation
3. A new perspective maybe? I want to understand how my immediate family are so ok with this?

Thanks for reading and sorry for the ramble. Also sorry if this should be in a different topic but I just need advice as to how I should go about this