Therapist said I wasn’t bad enough for help

I am 34f and I went from one extreme weight to another I n about three years and at my lowest in Sept when I almost went to the hospital. I’m 5’1 and I was doing a reward system with food after I had some frustrating news at work and I stand to be better at my job. It wasn’t healthy I know. I was hospitalized in March for stomach ulcers and I finally started to ask for help in May. When I did my therapist told me that she was 5 foot and weighted less than me and it wasn’t until my period was gone or my organs were failing that I would be a candidate for help.

I am at a loss. It made me want to look more sick so I could be believed. I’m so wrong for all these thought I know. My sternum is showing, my face is hollow but because I have loose skin I don’t look like I am sick? And I keep going back to just waiting to stay sick since no one cares anyways. I just hiked for ten hours for the last two days and ate nothing and I want to feel bad but I’m just so angry I ask for help and she said no?

I am so sorry I just don’t understand. Even the hospital told me I had an ed but my therapist doesn’t think so?