I’m afraid to transition

So for a few years now it’s been on anc off me thinking I want to be a woman and it is true. I have been told I show signs that are very trans like. And also the fact I wish I was born a girl lol. But I’m afraid that if I transition i won’t pass and I will just ruin the way I look and mess up everything and not be happy at all. I’m worried that I won’t look the way I wish to look. I’m afraid worried that I will
Lose all my friends
My family turns against me
Have to star all over
Worried I won’t pass
I look in the mirror and I just see a guy. No women. I only see a guy.

And I’m hard wired to believe I’m a guy. It’s how I was born. I was born a boy so that’s how I feel. But not because I want to be a boy for ever but it’s how I was raised. I was raised to think, act and be like a guy, so it’s all I know.

I wish I was more feminine and had feminine traits and characteristics. But that’s change and I don’t like to just change who I am. But I wish I was. But I can’t change who I am sadly. The way my brain works is I have to go with the flow and how my life was intended to be set up. I act like a guy and no emotion. But I want to show emotion, I want to be feminine, but I can’t let my self.

I need advice please.