Having a hard time with kids

I have 4 stepkids and a one year old baby. My baby has always been a bad sleeper and I don’t get much sleep. But my insomnia has started to come back and it’s been really hard. I was arguing with my husband and he came at me and shoved me a little while I was holding our baby, then tried to gaslight me into saying I ran into him. After this happened my sleep has become atrocious and I’m having a hard time being patient with my stepkids. I have to work really hard to be okay with them- I feel like because I have animosity toward my husband it leads me to have spill over for them, which I know isn’t their fault but they are not the best kids. They are well meaning I guess, but they fight with each other all the time and say horrible things to one another and hit each other all the time. They make messes all over the house and I feel like a maid just cleaning up the whole day.

I’ve had three days of getting maybe 3 hours of sleep. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I had some magnetiles out that my baby was playing with them and her sister came and started to use them and make a mess. I asked her not to play with her sisters toys without permission, she also has her own magnetiles in her play space. The next morning I am woken up by the clacking of magnetiles on my daughter’s room- I’m pretty upset and have to re-explain to not use her sisters toys without asking an adult. Later that day I go to lie down after feeling pretty ill all day from chronic sleep deprivation and I’m woken up by what? You guessed it. Magnetiles. So I tell her to get out of the room and she doesn’t so I yell “go!”. I proceed to have a breakdown. I told my husband I can’t watch them anymore without him around- I’m so tired and I feel sick all the time. And I’m so sick of people not listening to me!!! I feel like I’m ignored and just slave away and I’m so tired of it! My husband thinks I should apologize for yelling, but honestly I don’t feel bad. I’m fed up. I genuinely don’t know what to do next. We are going to start counseling because I was ready to leave. This sleep deprivation has been a nightmare and it took him 7 months to start helping out instead of watching tv with his kids until 11pm.

Sorry this post is a little all over the place. I love my stepkids, but it’s like they’ve gotten used to me as a parent and just want to treat me like garbage and Ive had such a hard time dealing with them. I’ve always felt like it’s worth it because of my husband and now that Im having such hard feelings toward him it seems like something broke and now I don’t want to have to deal with my stepkids. I’m not sure how to fix it. I’m so tired.