I don’t know what to do

My boyfriend [19M] and I [18F] have been dating for two years. We waited a while to fully have sex. Way before we did have sex, he knew what I was into which is BDSM. I went over it with him so many times. He was a little into it at first and we had plans to do it. We even made a rule sheet. We haven’t touched that or thought about it in about a year and half. I want this stuff but i know he probably doesn’t and i don’t want to ask anymore or bring it up because it makes it feel like he would only do it for me. I crave it so bad. The worst part is that we don’t even have sex on a normal basis anymore and when we do, it honestly sucks so bad. And i don’t even get turned on by him anymore, and it’s not because of how he looks or anything - it’s just how he acts and how shitty our communication is. I don’t want to bring or talk about any of this with him again. I also don’t feel happy or like myself anymore.