I’m tired of feeling insecure and having low self esteem but i just don’t know how to build that confidence.

At this point i think i need therapy to heal this wound. Because my whole life Ive been insecure due to bullying, micro aggressions, and just outwardly being undesired. The amount of times i tried changing my appearance just to still feel insecure. I honestly don’t know how to truly love myself and i feel like no one understands but other black women. Especially with being neurodivergent ive just had a hard time genuinely feeling pretty and i definitely realized that my insecurities probably shows to other people. I also feel with with doing online school for so long and not having a social life messed me up too so my only source of socializing was the internet. And the “fake it till you make it” advice just doesn’t work for me because even when i try faking it, in a way it does show because i genuinely to not believe what i say. i truly want to start loving myself and i feel like if i do i’d be less miserable but alot of the advice ive been given just doesn’t work especially with being neurodivergent like i said before.