AITA

I (f30) married my now husband (m35) 2 years ago. We had originally planned to get married in the spring of 2025, however I found out I was pregnant. I found a dress that I love and knew it wouldn't fit by spring so we planned a wedding for the early fall 2024 so that I would still fit into my dress. I was 3 months pregnant and already showing. This was a rough pregnancy as I was constantly sick/throwing up and I was in the ER every weekend for severe dehydration. My friend, will call her Susan, had gotten engaged in 2019 and was planning on getting married in 2020, but then Covid hit and everything shut down. Fast forward to 2024 and I had let Susan know that we were moving the wedding up to the fall due to my pregnancy and wanting to still fit into my dress. A few days later, Susan informed me that she was going to have a backyard wedding for her and her fiancé a week before our fall wedding. I was thrilled for her and so happy to celebrate with her. Susan said her color theme was going to be fall colors. Think mustard yellows, burnt oranges, and forest greens. She sent me a color pallet with dresses in colors she liked and said any dress would do as long as it was a fall color. Susan and I have a mutual bestie, we'll call her Betty. Betty got ordained and offered to perform our weddings as a wedding gift. Betty and I go way back to high school, were thick as theirs, and we met Susan a year or so after graduating high school. Anyway, back to Susan. I sent Susan a photo of a dress from the exact color pallet she had sent me. It was a plum purple maternity dress, and I asked her what she thought. I let Susan know that the dress is darker in person, I just had bad lighting. Susan had let me know she was displeased with the color and said it was not a color from the pallet she had sent me. I told her I wasn't sure what I was going to do because I was pretty broke from moving our wedding up and losing out on deposits from vendors for our original wedding date and told her I struggling to find maternity dresses in my area due to lack of money, lack of time, and lack of stores in my area. Susan told me she understood. The following night I received a message from Susan telling me that she felt disrespected by me. I apologized saying I was sorry and that it wasn't my intent to disrespect her, then Susan told me that I told her that I didnt care about her wedding. That night I sat down with my fiancé and told him about my conversation with Susan. He said maybe it was best to not go because wearing a dress to a friend's wedding that they don't approve of is actually disrespectful. I voiced my concern to him that Susan would be mad at me if I didnt attend. He told me she'll probably be mad either way. Mind you it's midweek and her wedding is the upcoming Saturday. Susan began blowing up my phone at work all Thursday. I sent her a quick message saying that I'm at work and would message her back after, the company I work for has a strict no cellphone policy. When I got home I had read the messages Susan sent me and sent her a message back saying that again I was sorry and that I understood she was stressed from planning a last minute wedding, I was too. I told her I didn't feel well and was going to go to bed early. The next morning I had a missed call from Susan. I replied and told her sorry, I was sleeping and that I could chat after work. Susan continued to blow up my phone Friday saying that I blew off her call the night before and that she was shocked about how disrespectful I was. After work I messaged Susan and informed her that I would not be attending her wedding that weekend and that I didnt feel it was right to come in a dress she didnt like. I then received a message from Betty. Betty said she couldn't believe I wasn't going to Susan's wedding. I told Betty that I didnt want to talk about it and went to bed. Betty sent me a long message saying that I was making Susan's wedding all about me and that I better go to it. The weekend went by and I didnt attend. Flash forward to the following Friday and it was the night before my wedding, I hadn't heard from Susan and figured she wanted sometime with her new husband. Then Susan messaged me, I was honestly surprised. She was asking me about what time should she show up to my ceremony. I told Susan that I was still happy to have her and that our ceremony would start at 4pm and to try to be there a little early. I spent Saturday morning getting ready and trying to to run my hair, makeup, or dress with my horrendous morning sickness, and then it was time. When I got to the ceremony Betty created me coldly and Susan was nowhere to be found, and I wasn't surprised that Susan didn't show considering I hadn't gone to her wedding the weekend before. My husband and I had settled in our hotel room after and Susan started sending me long messages saying that she couldn't believe that I would think that she would come to my wedding after not going to hers and that I was rude and disrespectful. She said I never even apologized and that I was an awful friend. I didnt let Susan ruin my night and enjoyed my night with my husband. I messaged Susan the next day and told her that I had apologized and felt really bad and that all I tried to do was explain that I was having trouble getting another dress in her pallet that was also a maternity dress, I told Susan that I wasn't surprised that she didnt show and that I expected that from her, I then apologized again. Susan continued to send message after message via text and Facebook, I eventually had to block her on both. Betty hasn't spoken to me since my wedding day and I haven't seen Susan. I dont know what Susan said to Betty but I was actually really hurt that Betty had stopped talking to me over a dress that didnt have anything to do with her in the first place. AITA I feel like I am.

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