Why did this happen? Or rather, why didn't it...

I've worked on myself consistently after a terrible breakup a year ago. I manifested a new self concept. The self concept of the woman who doesn't abandon herself, who is in a happy, healthy, committed relationship, is always chosen, and who has secure attachment. And even without this, I've been so happy. My life is fulfilled, and even now, my life is still perfect.

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So then, for the first time in a year, I met a guy I actually liked. We had a great first date. And I decided that I am the woman he falls in love with, proposes to, and gives me what I've been manifesting.

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And everything went horribly. After the first date, his communication lagged. He was avoidant when it came to making plans. So I stuck with my identity and stopped responding to him. He came back around in just a few days. Apologized, acknowledged his mistake, asked for another chance. I told him I would accept only another date, no more casual conversation until then. He said he was going to set up a date, but that he'd get back to me the next day about when. I thought my manifestation was complete.

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The next day came, he pulled the exact same shit he did before (pretended like we didn't have a long heart to hear the night before), after I agreed to give him a chance. At that point, I told him I was done and had to cut him off. I can't let someone like that have access to me.

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So yes, I'm still the woman who didn't abandon herself. I'm chosen because I chose myself, put myself on the pedestal. Sure, in that sense all of that is true. But why did I go through something so confusing? I was so calm. I was certain I had it. Why did this happen?

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