I’m tired of hiding

pretty much the title but im (f19) so tired of living a double life..ive been doing some reflection on my past year (just went off to college) and i remembered something i promised myself when i was in 8th grade and first realized i was bi. i made a decision that by the time i went to uni (away from home) id finally be fully out and myself…this didnt end up happening. there was even one instance when a guy outright made a lowkey homophobic joke/tease at me (as if they were baiting to see what id say) in front of me and my roommate and i just denied it. i felt so uncomfortable in that moment i just double downed on being something im not.

this coupled with the fact that im not out to my family(probably wont unless necessary) i just feel so icky about myself.

i want to start living authentically but im not even sure where to start. i havent dated any girls officially even tho i prefer them (talked/kissed a few before) but i really want to have that experience. i live near a major city in canada so i guess thats a plus! does anyone have any advice on what i can do?