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Asshole

My fiancé and i are getting married at the end of the year. We've been engaged for almost a year, and we already booked the venues and invited all of our friends and family.

My friend and i have only been friends for a little over a year but we've gotten super close as of recently. We always text and hang out with and without our friend group, and I'm always talking about when im getting married, along with the date, because I've had the venue booked since late last year.

She was one of the first people i invited, and i recently asked her to be my bridesmaid because i genuinely want her by my side on my big day. She happily accepted, and we immediately started discussing the color scheme and what dresses she would wear. It's a decent sized wedding in an outdoorsy venue. I don't care about the price of the dress as long as it was one of the allowed colors. (She could have gotten the dress on Amazon and returned it the next day for all i care). I'm not asking her for any help because i am hiring a wedding planner to do all the hard work and i want everyone invited to enjoy the moment

About a week ago, she texted me, along with a meme, saying that her fiancé surprised her with a (non-refundable) concert ticket to her favorite artist in Chicago that was set to be the exact date of my wedding. Meaning she’d miss my rehearsal dinner and my wedding. With the plane ticket, hotel, and concert ticket, he spent about $2,000 for her surprise.

i asked if there was any possibility of getting a refund, but she said the tickets were non-refundable. i also asked about selling them or possibly having her fiancé take a friend or family member instead, and she said he doesn't want to do that because he bought them for her and wants to go with her.

I understand that it was a generous gift and that she didn't purchase the tickets herself. At the same time, I'm struggling because she had already committed to my wedding and agreed to be my bridesmaid. To me, that commitment should have mattered more than a concert, even if it's her favorite artist.

What upsets me most is that if she decides to go, I'll be upset that she's choosing the concert over my wedding. But if she decides not to go and comes to my wedding instead, I'll still be upset because she seriously considered missing one of the most important days of my life after having already committed to being there. it sucks to say but at the point where I don't even know if I want her standing beside me because I can't stop thinking about the fact that attending my wedding suddenly became optional to her.

Posted Jun 11, 2026, 9:27 PM UTC

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