I want to but I'm family oriented

I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts for a long time now. I'm apparently someone who can't grow at all I've pushed it down.

I don't want my dad or sister to find me. I've been thinking maybe I tried going camping to get away but they both insisted that going camping would be good and forced themselves into my trip anyway. I'm probably gonna try again soon and if they find me I don't care anymore.