I'm tired

I'm turning 19 soon, and I feel like I'm the mother of my younger sister. She even calls me that herself. She's only 1 year and 8 months old.

I love her very much, but I'm exhausted from everything. My parents criticize me for not having friends, a boyfriend, or a job. They also get angry because I don't take good care of myself and because I've gained a lot of weight. But they forget that I spend at least four hours every day taking care of my little sister. They forget that I have to look for a job that suits not only me but also my parents, so I won't feel guilty for not being available to babysit.

They also forget that I'm studying and doing my best.

I've asked them to help me with at least something besides simply letting me live under the same roof. I asked them to help me find a job. I was willing to work extremely hard, even unofficially if necessary. I asked for help with documents. I asked them to hire a tutor to help me improve the language because I live abroad and still don't speak or write it very well.

But they don't help me with anything, just like always. The only thing I hear is: "You're an adult now. You have to solve your own problems."

And that's how it's been my whole life.

I'm tired, and I'm not looking for sympathy. I just needed to get this off my chest somewhere and tell someone, because I'm tired of keeping everything inside.