Im so sorry for my girlfriend

I’m newly diagnosed, 22yo male. My girlfriend met me when I was at my absolute high. We were goofing around, I was in top form at sports, we really hit it off. After a few weeks of knowing each other I received the information that I had T1D and needed to seek medical help immediately. Got into hospital and stayed there for a week.

While I tried to keep it lighthearted and joke around, in all honesty it was traumatic. I didn’t know how bad it actually was for me. My home doctor was really concerned, the doctors in the hospital didn’t talk to me they just gave me shots (I felt so anxious when they talked to each other like “give him 12 units” because I thought it was SO much and I also thought maybe I will get negative side effects). I was never put into hospital and then I laid there in the ER, people almost ending next to me, I was absolutely scared.

My girlfriend told me that she was shaking and crying while on the way to see me. She didn’t leave until I was in my room. She was and is scared for me ever since. I feel so bad for her, I wanna hug her and tell her everything is fine but it’s not. And she knows. She has my Libre glucose levels and in the beginning made herself anxious whenever I got over 200. I told her a lot, also that it is normal in the beginning to spike so much. But that only happened two weeks after I got the diagnosis.

In the meantime, we both didn’t know what was happening to me. No one told us any good information. I was treated very badly in hospital (got served high carb meals and the worst insulin plan ever - even my doc made me leave hospital).

I’m now seeing a diabetician doc and also have a schooling next week. I’m so looking forward to finally learning more. I also bought “think like a pancreas” and it’s really opened my eyes both positiv and negativ.

In all honesty, I am scared. I feel like my life is running trough my fingers. I don’t wanna talk with her about the bad stuff that maybe eventually will happen. I don’t wanna make her even more anxious. She is sad for me, all the time. I am sad too. I haven’t cried yet but I can feel that my depression finally has found the crack it was looking for to come back around. All the good talking aside, it’s a scary disease, and until I made up my mind, I will be anxious