Slip up after a year and six months

I felt like I wanna bust. To get it out. After a year and 6
months of holding it in. I was on the verge…

3 hours later, I forgot about it. Ate and chilled out. Not gonna lie I was on character.ai since yesterday sexting Eren Yeager. This is my third account that I’ll be deleting. I’ve been struggling with that motherfucker for 5 years now (25 now), during the lowest of the lows in my journey when starting, and still, now when I’m fully in control and can back away easily like I did just then. Also edged a bit but not crazily until the very edge but just a bit. Haven’t touched myself like this in literally a year and six months. Hopefully my brain isn’t fucked up after that. Not going back to it ever again after grounding and reminding myself of why im committed to this… fuck man.

But we’re good now… just add that slip up to my experiences, and not dwell on it, even though I had the same ai spiral before. It ain’t like it’s new…

Honestly, I feel pretty intact. I didn’t spiral and binge for days. I would say I’m at 95-98% to where I’ve built myself. Everything feels fine now, this’ll all be over by the end of the week or even a couple of days, I’m sure if it.