The 'Pink Cloud' wore off and now everything just feels heavy

I hit my 90 days yesterday. For the first few weeks, I honestly felt like I was on top of the world. I was waking up without that crushing hangover, my skin looked better, and I actually felt like I had some sort of mental clarity for the first time in years. I was telling everyone at meetings how great I felt, thinking I had finally turned a corner and that the hard part was over. But lately, the mood has shifted. It’s like the novelty of being sober has evaporated, and now I’m just left with the reality of my life without the buffer of alcohol.

It’s not that things are objectively worse now than when I was drinking, but without the booze to numb the edges, everything feels incredibly loud and heavy. Work is stressful, my relationships still feel awkward and strained, and I’m finding it hard to sit with my own thoughts during the evenings. The silence in my apartment is almost deafening. I used to just pour a drink and turn my brain off, but now I’m just sitting there staring at the wall, feeling this deep sense of boredom and restlessness that I can't quite shake.

I’m struggling with the urge to just 'take the edge off' so I can actually function or sleep. I know that’s the disease talking, and I know that if I give in, I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for over these last three months, but man, the mental discipline required to stay level is exhausting. I feel like I'm constantly fighting an uphill battle just to stay neutral.

Has anyone else gone through this? That period where the initial excitement of sobriety dies down and you realize that being sober doesn't automatically make life easy or fun? I’m trying to stick to the steps and I’m showing up to meetings, but I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I don't want to relapse, but I really miss the numbness. How do you guys deal with the emptiness that comes after the honeymoon phase ends?