Snack: chicken and green chili tamale with salsa verde and plain Greek yogurt. (Husband will be home late and I needed something to tide me over.) 

TLDR: my work has been changing, our hybrid policy is likely changing, I am behind in my work, all my friends and my husband are able to take time off… I currently have intermittent FMLA for mental health reasons, but it is unpaid because I am using all my PTO. I am wondering if I am burnt out and I don’t know how to tell and what to do. 

I have been working as a case manager for adults with IDD and ASD for a little over two years. I feel like I’m *still* learning, but that doesn’t bother me. Originally I thought it was a pretty lateral move, in terms of skill set, but did come with higher pay. I was working as a co-teacher in a middle school self-contained special ed class with the highest needs kids. I learned fairly quickly the only similar aspect was the population I am working with. That’s to say, when I actually get to visit my clients. I am happy I am broadening my skills and I now have a LSW cert. 

What has been difficult is the amount of admin work. I feel like when I focus on finding resources for my clients and supporting them, traveling for visits and actually finding what they need, I am low on billable hours and I fall behind on all of the paperwork and requirements from the state. When I focus on the admin requirement tasks, I have higher billable hours, but I lose touch with clients and feel like I’m failing them. I never feel like I am caught up… and if I do for a week, something heavy happens (client losing housing, needing to call APS, client being fired from their job, etc). 

I am very behind right now. My manager and my team lead have been supporting me to catch up. I had the highest amount of units in May than any other team member and it didn’t give me an ounce of pride like it would have in the past. I’m still behind. 

I currently have intermittent FMLA, but it is unpaid because I have to use all my PTO first. I always feel guilty using it. The main reason I have it is so I have protected time. I take 1/2 days, or start late, sometimes take a full day, a couple times a month. I feel like it never actually benefits me because I’m so stressed about being behind.

Last week my manager sent out a policy for case managers to sign for a remote work policy. When I took this position, I signed the job description as hybrid and after three months of training, I could work from home and come in an average of once a week. A larger agency bought our agency but they said their case managers don’t adhere to the remote policy as strictly as other departments and our director said our hybrid policy would not change. Now they want us in the office three days a week. I live 55 minutes away. Their reasoning is they want us to have the ability to scan in documents, shred paperwork, copy, and mail items. I can do that from home and/or in 1/2 a day. 

I asked for a meeting with my manager and the director and I told them feel free to invite the clinical director who is requesting us to sign the remote policy, but they didn’t. I had two notebook pages filled out with bullet points on why I think the policy is not sustainable for me. There are a lot of reasons. I am willing to continue to go to the office 1/2 day or one day a week. I cannot do three days a week and still meet billable hour requirements and visit requirements. I met with the director and my manager a week ago. My director asked me to send her an email on my reasoning on not signing the remote work policy and a reasonable accommodation. I did so that afternoon. I haven’t heard anything. 

This week has been heavy. I volunteered at the primary elections on Tuesday so I didn’t work the whole day, I was completely tapped out and exhausted from working 6:30 am to 10:30 pm. I still worked a full day yesterday. Today I was scheduled for a 1/2 day because I had an appointment for service on my vehicle. I decided on the way home to basically say fuck it, that I was just going to take the other 1/2 of the day off. 

We have also endured a lot of changes since our agency was acquired. We were told very little would change and it feels like there is something new every week. 

I’ve been contemplating this all week, as my teacher friends end their school year and the weather is getting nicer, plus my husband is approaching his two weeks vacation. But I’m still behind *and* in my busy season so I cannot take multiple days off in one week until October. **Am I burnt out? How do I know? What can I do?** 

I have started updating my resume and casually browsing job sites. But I don’t want to run away from one job where I am burnt out to starting a whole new job and learning everything new again. As someone recently said on a TV show that really stuck with me “don’t run away from something to leave it, run away towards something you want”. How will I know what I really want? Can I even trust my instincts since this job isn’t quite what I imagined? 

The benefits of my job are the flex schedule, working from home, making my own schedule, some of my coworkers, and sometimes the reward of helping a client. As long as I work 40 hours, make client contact, and am productive, I can work whatever hours I want, within reason. If I have a doctor’s appointment I can clock out and run to that and come back to work and either make up the time that day or flex it on another day. If the remote work policy does change, there goes a big benefit to my job and the flex schedule is a lot harder. I don’t mind working on site if the job is closer to home. But if I leave my current job I most likely lose my flex schedule and hybrid work. 

Feeling very defeated, maybe burnt out? Advice welcome