I (F23) have been with my boyfriend (M31) and a lot happened

ls me to just “focus up”. He’s also quite insensitive. One time I was drunk and I was feeling so terrible and sad because self-conscious thoughts about my worth to him felt overwhelming. He was cross-faded and he says to me. ‘What are you doing? You’re ruining the vibes.’ I needed to be alone so I could calm down and process my feelings. Though, a friend of mine was showing me more compassion and empathy. I feel like I have to hide little things from him like a new shipment of clothes because I have a limited wardrobe for example. We’re suppose to be in the process of moving out. I was trying to example to him one day that I felt lonely and his responses was to just focus on money. That I shouldn’t be worried about relationship and problems that may come with it. I don’t feel entirely at ease with him and I’ve felt repeatedly like an afterthought, his insensitivity, carelessness, thoughtlessness, and overall an instability. A lot of you must be asking why I haven’t broken up with him. To be honest with you guys, I don’t know why either. I feel burnt out and exhausted from the repeated pain. I don’t have another home to go to either.