Nobody would ever guess (M) humiliation

So, I'm in my 40s and I've worked hard, clawing my way to the top in my work life. It's challenging, a lot of responsibility, and I pride myself on being a role model and caring leader.

But nobody would ever guess that I have a growing obsession and fantasy around being humiliated away from work and in the bedroom... I mean I guess it makes sense right ? A release, not having to lead, not celebrating successes at work... Just being torn down, and left a husk of myself if only for a few hours.

Weird ? Maybe..... Thought consuming ? Definitely.