Peer reviews—what's too much?

Peer review season is upon me—and I'm wondering (read: overthinking) about whether some minor feedback I have for a coworker is even worth mentioning, or if I do, will look more negative on me.

The jist of it: I'm a project manager. One of the team members that gets assigned as a lead on a job used to also have to PM all his jobs before I came in a little over a year ago and took that aspect over. As such, I have a wonderful team member I can lean on who knows all of the ins and outs. Overall, I appreciate his advice and I know the intent is to be helpful.

The downside is that the delivery could use some polishing. It often comes across as micromanaging and undermining. For example, dming me to tell me to do random things that are a part of our regular process that I do on every single project, or to tell me to tell customer about this, even when I already have several times (in communications he's included in...)

He often undermines me in team meetings—I think in part because there is a bit of a language barrier and our styles of communication don't jive. For example, today I mentioned an issue we had with a customer that had several people involved, including the agency, but that there was no movement on our end for a solution yet and that I'd let people know when there was. He interrupts to say "well actually so-and-so from agency is meeting so-and-so at a conference."

I'm frustrated because while yes, the partner was trying to ad hoc meet the client at the conference, it doesn't actually mean that they have/will, and unless there is something they come up with that we need to action, to me, there is no movement on this on our end as of yet.

I am open to the idea that I maybe don't communicate very well, but so far I haven't gotten feedback to change my communication style or find ways to be easier to be understood.

Where I'm overthinking it is this: in a moment of frustration I talked about it with my manager and then landed on the decision to let it roll off my back because I genuinely believe that there is no negative intent on his end. My manager agreed and sung the coworker's praises.

So, if I mention in "anon" feedback surveys that I feel like his delivery could use some polishing just in case it rubs someone the wrong way my question is:

• is this legitimate feedback or am I being butthurt about it? If I send it does it do more harm to my reputation than good to him?
• if I am personally choosing to give him the benefit of the doubt... is there really any point, even if it is legitimate feedback?

I have worked extremely hard to cultivate a reputation as a "glass is always half full" kind of a person. I remain positive, I find the bright side, and if dealing with frustrating people I always give them the benefit of the doubt even if the reality is that I want to tell them to eat shit and live. My manager has noted this as I have often done this when he is frustrated with others. I just don't want to come across as a complainer over minor things. When I complain, I want people to listen and understand that it's taken a lot to get me to that point, ya know what I mean?

Thanks in advance!