Am I overreacting, or is this confusing?

I’ve been casually seeing a guy for about 3 months. He says he prefers casual and has apparently told friends that he thinks I want a relationship, but I genuinely don’t want a boyfriend or labels. I just want to feel like a person and not a late-night convenience.

The confusing part is that this hasn’t been a typical hookup situation. He’s invited me to his family birthday dinner, introduced me to multiple family members, encouraged me to spend time with them one-on-one, I’ve slept over 15+ times, we’ve gone for coffee and runs together, and earlier on he would ask me to stay the night.

Lately though, he’ll go a week barely texting me, then suddenly message late at night asking what I’m doing or if I want to come over. If I’m working, there isn’t really any effort to make daytime plans instead. He’ll occasionally suggest a run, but overall I’ve started to feel like most of our interaction revolves around late-night catch-ups.

Last night, after finishing an 8-hour shift, he kept asking me to come over. Before I arrived, I told him I couldn’t stay because my dad would worry if I wasn’t home, and I repeated throughout the night that I’d have to leave. After we had sex, he mentioned he was getting coffee the next day with a female colleague from work, likely at the same café we’ve been to together. I asked who she was and what her name was, and ended up saying something along the lines of, “She’s lucky to go for coffee with you. Not even I get to go for coffee with you.” He pointed out that we’d actually been for coffee before, which is true.

The thing is, I don’t think I was upset about the colleague herself. I think it made me realise that he seems capable of organising daytime catch-ups with other people, while I mostly get late-night “wyd” and “come over” messages. It hurt because I miss feeling like he enjoys my company outside of sex.

When I left, he acknowledged that I usually stay over, said he felt bad about me leaving, and asked me to text him when I got home.

I know I repeatedly said I had to leave, so maybe he just took me at my word. But I think what really upset me was realising that I don’t necessarily want a serious relationship — I just want to feel like someone genuinely likes me as a human being and thinks of me in daylight hours too.

Am I overreacting, or would anyone else be confused by someone saying they want casual while also involving you in their family life, sleepovers and couple-like activities, only for the dynamic to gradually shift into mostly late-night invitations? Was I unfair for making the coffee comment, or is it understandable given the bigger picture?

TL;DR: I’ve been casually seeing a guy for 3 months who says he prefers casual, but he’s introduced me to his family, invited me to family events and I’ve slept over 15+ times. Lately he’ll barely text for a week, then only hit me up late at night to come over. After sex he mentioned he was getting coffee the next day with a female colleague, and I got upset because it made me realise I feel like everyone else gets the daytime version of him while I mostly get the 1am version. I don’t want a boyfriend, I just want to feel like I’m valued as a person outside of sex. Am I overreacting?