Feeling Confused and Hurt 25F 27M

For context, my boyfriend M27 and I F25 have been together for almost 3 years. We have lived together for close to 2, and we are planning on marriage soon, within the year ideally. We want something small at our church.

My boyfriend is a phenomenal partner; he works so much overtime to make sure I don’t have to, he covers the majority of expenses, he has never once made me question his loyalty, he talks about our future and our future family all the time. The problem is we have such different needs and I’m starting to really feel down about not being able to figure out how to mesh the two different styles of love. His love language is very much more acts of service, while mine is more physical touch and quality time. He has verbalized that he feels like he is showing me love by working so hard to take care of me in terms of finances and our living situation, but I have verbalized to him that I need more intimacy in our relationship because that’s how I feel love. He is not a very romantic man, and I have known that the whole relationship. We have had sex problems on and off throughout our whole relationship, and it is the only major problem we have faced and majorly fought over. Currently, we are almost on week 6 of no sex. I am struggling majorly. He has asked that I back off from coming into him so strongly because he is more apt to be intimate if he can initiate it, but it is such a struggle.

For a bit more context, he was diagnosed with Asperger’s as a kid, and though he says it was a misdiagnosis, I truly think he is. And before anyone brings it up, he is not gay, and he does not have a porn addiction.

I do not plan on leaving him, so please don’t suggest that as an option. I am so lucky to have him and I love him wholeheartedly. I just need some advice… Has anyone else struggled with a difference in intimacy levels or love languages and overcame them? If so, what advice do you have for someone struggling?