If you’ve ever found yourself defending someone who hurt you, missing them desperately even after they’ve caused real damage, or feeling like you can’t leave no matter how many times you’ve tried, you’re not weak. You might be experiencing a trauma bond.

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Trauma bonding is a strong psychological attachment that can form between a person experiencing abuse and the person causing it. These bonds are complex, intense, and often deeply confusing—even to the people living through them. It will often take support from a mental health professional to fully process and heal from a trauma-bonded relationship. Read on to learn what trauma bonding is, why it happens, and what healing can actually look like. 

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Trauma bonding: what it is and why we keep going back.