I lost my patience with my gf

My gf (f29) and i (f28) got into a huge argument last night.

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These past couple weeks I've been busy. My parents are visiting and I have been hanging out mostly with them. I've been working mornings and then I would go with them.

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Yesterday, we were talking on the phone, as I arrived from hanging out with my parents and then I had to momentarily hang up but when I called again she didn’t pick up, immediately after I receive a text saying that she was going through a depressive episode and that she needed some time. I respected this and said "okay, call when you feel ready even if you're not feeling okay, I'm here for you"

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She calls me and she's all normal I asked what happened because I obviously got worried, she tells me that it's okay, that she handled it herself. I was like ooookaay.

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We had plans to watch a show so I asked if she wanted to do that she said "mmm... you can watch it if you want, but I think I'm going to watch a movie instead" so I was like okay. Because I didn't want to intrude in her healing process and the way she worded things made me think that she wanted to do it by herself which I respect, we all need alone time sometimes.

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So I told her that I wasn't going to watch that show without that I would only hang out there if she wanted me too. She told me to end the call. So this is where I asked her why was she pushing me away.

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This question ignited the fight and she went on saying that she has been feeling unloved, misunderstood and that she doesn't feel safe around me anymore. This stung and I was like what even are we doing then? Because what have I done to make you feel unsafe? She didn’t say and instead she went on a tangent with how annoying I am by making everything about myself and taking everything personally.

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I told her the argument was getting confusing to me, because if she's feeling unloved and unsafe with me I think its something not to be taken lightly and of course I am going to take it personally if it's because of me she's not feeling okay.

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Then she goes on telling me that she feels that I don't care anymore because why would I let her go through an episode by herself and why would I not ask to join in watching the movie with her. This is where I lost my patience and told her that literally she told me. That I didn't want to push it over and make her feel worse (because this has happened in the past) she got really upset, cried, raised her voice and I was like what even is happening rn....

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So I was like I think we should speak to someone, like a therapist (she's not doing therapy atm) she told me that I could if I wanted but that she doesn't think it would work with her. This was terribly off putting because as much as I understand the condition I feel she has gotten too comfortable with me allowing her to be mean to me that she doesn't want to change.

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I feel that whatever I do or say ends up being the wrong thing. She asks for reassurance but when I give it to her I am pushed away. She asks for space but when I give it to her I don't care anymore. I am honestly lost and I don't know what to do...

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Sorry for the long text... please help :(

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