One of the many reasons I am CF is because I would resent my kids from hindering my academic and and professional growth

Ooof, where so I start from?

I am in the process of applying to M.A. programs so I was talking with other girls my age who are in the middle of the same process.

When we were discussing the schools we are applying to, I said that I will apply to as many programs as possible across the country, and advised the other girl I was talking to to do the same so she can have a higher possibility of getting accepted to at least one (since the program we are applying to is quite competitive). She told me that she cannot do that because she's married and has two little kids at home so she in only applying to 2 schools MAX, the ones closest to her house.

I felt horrible because it sounded like I was bragging and that I didn't think of the from the start.

I thought, I would be fuming and resenting of everyone who would affect my academic journey. Maybe because I grew up poor and in a crowded house and academia was the only was way out.

Last week I was in an interview in a school and I mentioned that I would like to focus on my studies instead of having kids and caring for them (I did not mention I am CF). The interviewer (a woman) looked confused and said that I can "just do both at the same time".

I do not agree. You cannot fully focus on your academic and professional future while growing a human being inside of you and suffering from symptoms, not to mention the consequences of giving birth and post portum. The interviewer actually laughed when I said this (I have no idea why), but I thought it's weird that she couldn't understand my decision. Every girl with kids that I know had to make huge sacrifices in an academic and professional level to adjust to the huge changes of not only growing a baby in her body but also caring for that baby for at least the first few months.

The idea of having a kid terrifies me and this is one of the reasons I am NOT doing it.