i feel like i haven't really lived my childhood

i know I'm just 16 and before you all come at me, that's just how i feel.

im a introverted person and have social anxiety. there's only few people that im really comfortable talking with. now when i look at my older sister, i feel like i havent dont anything.

i love her, truly. but sometimes i just feel sad. at how easy it is for her to blend into groups, be the life of the party without trying and be naturally funny. meanwhile, im the one everybody ignores. i dont like going to family gatherings because its a testimony to how much people will always choose her over me. moreover, shes so pretty and im not and i feel like people always judges us for that (?). its like i have no personality.

now, i dont truly have people i can call best friends. and idk why im even typing this to be honest lol. i dont even know what i actually want to convey.