my stupid realisations

Mujhe na aaj ye sab suddenly realise ho raha but ab realise ho raha hai that i never meant anything to anyone. I am just a convenient piece of entertainment. 2 minute mein apna dil de deti hun, desperate rehti hun, pagal si ho jati hun. I am just a forgotten girl and yaar main piche reh jati hun. Mujhe log bhul jaate hai, replace kar dete hai. I am nobody's first choice, second bhi nahi hun, bas ek last minute option hun. Mujhse koi baat bhi nahi kar pata. I guess i am too bipolar and mentally unwell. Mujhe raat ko ab theek se neend nahi aati. Aisa lagta hai ki do i even deserve to sleep? Sone jaate waqt bhi lagta hai ki main zinda kyun hun? Haste haste thak jaati hun, rote rote andar se aur mar jaati hun.