Finding love in my 40s changed me but I am stuck in neutral when alone. How do I stop freezing before it is too late?

I spent the last 20 years prioritizing everyone else needs before my own

I was the guy who always said yes and let people manipulate me because back then I simply could not bring myself to say no

It was not about fearing conflict it was just how I felt in those moments

Before this I did not even have the will or desire to change anything

But recently everything shifted

The universe finally sent me the signals I needed

First I got my first dog and the connection I share with him is 10 times deeper than anything I could have ever imagined

Then 8 months ago the woman of my life literally fell from the sky

We rescued each other

She went through a painful marriage and a divorce but she managed to break free

She always tells me that I was her motivation to overcome it all

At the same time she showed me what true love means and became my ultimate encouragement to finally want a better life for myself

I am changing for myself and for our future because she helped me find the will to do it

Right now due to her children she has to be away for another year

The love between us is solid and it is right there but I am realistic

I am fully aware that everything in life has its limits including patience and time

When she is here with me I am unstoppable

I can do anything and take care of my life

But the moment she leaves and I am back to being alone it feels like someone flips an OFF switch inside my brain

I lose all momentum and get stuck in neutral even for the simplest everyday things

It feels awful because when I freeze like this I feel like I am not matching her strength and devotion

She sacrificed so much to be with me and my inability to move forward when I am alone makes me feel like I am wasting precious time

It feels like my 20 year routine of living for others is an opponent who knows all my tactics and it tries to freeze me the moment I am by myself

Has anyone else gone through this transition phase in their 40s

How do you learn to maintain that?