AITAH for not attending my best friends' destination wedding and planning my own wedding instead?

Last year I found out I had a serious medical issue. After months of testing and appointments, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that required surgery and could potentially affect my ability to have children. This was devastating because having kids is something that means a lot to both me and my now-husband.

Around the same time, my best friend and her fiancé announced their destination wedding. It was across the country in a very expensive tourist area during a busy season. They told us they really wanted us there, but understood it might not be possible for everyone because of the cost.

At first, we told them we'd do our best to attend. However, my fiancé and I had recently bought a house, and once the medical bills, testing, and upcoming surgery became a reality, we realized we couldn't afford the trip at the time, which would have cost us around $5,000.

The day I received my official diagnosis and learned I would need surgery, we called them and explained that we wouldn't be able to attend. I was literally crying on the phone because I felt terrible.

At the same time, my fiancé and I made the decision to stop postponing our own wedding. We had already been engaged for over a year, and because of the uncertainty surrounding my fertility, we wanted to get married and start trying for a family as soon as I recovered from surgery.

We planned a small, simple wedding with help from family. No extravagant parties, no luxury venue, just something meaningful so we could move forward with our lives. Family chipped in financially.

When my friend found out, she sent me a long text a few days before my surgery saying it felt like a slap in the face that we could afford our own wedding but not attend hers. I explained that this wasn't about competing with them or trying to "beat them to the altar." We were just trying to make the best decisions we could given what we were facing.

Things never really recovered after that. Soon after, I tried to get together and talk things through because I didn't want resentment building on either side, but I was told there was nothing to discuss.

The final straw came several months later. My friend's fiancé confronted me while drunk during a night out with mutual friends. He got in my face, screamed insults at me, called me a bitch and a piece of shit, and said he didn't give a fuck about my surgery or anything I had been through. He kept saying “you know what you’re doing” It got so heated that my husband and him nearly got into a physical fight.

After that, we completely cut contact. They have not reached out either.

The truth that might make me a little bit of an asshole is that after recovering from surgery and after our wedding we could have afforded to go to the wedding. We would have to do a budget version of the trip but we could have done it. After everything I just didn’t want to anymore. I didn’t want to do something out of my way for them.

Also were going to another out of state wedding 2 months after theirs (to be fair it’s a lot closer location and will cost us about 1k to attend compared to 5k)

**AITA?**