AFF. Feeling defeated

Hey yall.
I had my ground school course yesterday and was about to go for my first jump and when they had me practice my arch my neck got really tense and sore. Same with my legs. I can’t even do an arch especially when I have to lift my chin, mind you I have no conditions.

I know I have the skills to make these jumps successfully, but I can’t just get out of my head. I can do the steps in my head plenty of times, CHECK IN, check out, etc. it’s just the pressure of putting that rig on ruined what I thought I knew and going for me.

At this point I’m at a standstill. I already took out a loan for 2k to pay for this program. (Please do not judge, It was most beneficial for me at the time). I want to progress and become a sky diver, but I am quite literally my worst critic.

This sucks!