How can I let him be a dad again?

Everything happens for a reason right? The man made it for a reason.

Timeline of events my husband went through that led us all to here:

April 2025 - “Laid off” because he was drinking at work in the office

May-Aug - job searching in his garage all day every day, getting meaner and angrier at me whenever I’m upset, drinking shooters constantly

Aug - we start couples counseling, he starts a new job.

Sep- admits to couples counselor that he has a severe drinking problem

Oct - starts out patient rehab program, fails multiple times.

Nov - right before thanksgiving goes to in patient rehab

Dec - comes home 2 days before Christmas and makes it less than an hour alone before he slips

Jan 2026 - “resigned” from another job, found shooter bottles in his work bag. I moved out with child to my mother’s and start AFG.

Feb - March - he is hospitalized for 8 weeks, cirrhosis, hepatic encephalopathy, dialysis. I filed for divorce.

April - moves to his mother’s because he can no longer live alone. Needs constant care and assistance.

May - first time he sees his son in person since before the hospital was on his 3rd bday. He can’t keep track of him at the children’s museum, he loses me, cannot physically handle keeping up or holding our child.

Off and on throughout all this, he had phone called and video chatted. In rehab it was very consistent, every morning and evening. Now, maybe once every 3-5 days.

I’m busy filling out parenting schedules and financial worksheets for lawyers. How do I let him parent? I want to put “Kid with mom all the time everyday. If dad wants to stop by to hang out, he can.” Sadly, I know he won’t. The man used to say all the right things that lead me to believe he could do this. “I wanna be here for him, he is gonna know his dad, I’m gonna show him so much love, we’re gonna be best buds”. Is that man still around?

How do I detach with love and guard my own child from his trauma inducing father? How do I move on from how much he hurt me to let him into our kid’s life again?

By the way, I don’t need an actual answer, and my lawyer has been very good at helping me navigate the legal side. Just, emotionally, how do I let him be a dad again? Without getting in the way.