Mid-20s couple moving to Bay Area, one of us working in Menlo Park area

Hi! My bf and I are moving to the area next month. I’ve already done a lot of research but I figured locals might be able to give some more real answers and insight.

He’ll work in Menlo Park, in office Mon-Thurs, remote Fridays.

Based on my research, living in SF itself would be near impossible (a hellish commute for him, rental market is crazy).

We are finding plenty of options in our price range in San Mateo, Foster City, Redwood City, Menlo Park, Palo Alto.

I’m curious what your thoughts are on the vibes of these suburbs and if any of them would be suitable for a 24 & 25 y/o couple??

I’m really interested in San Mateo.

I know that none of these options will be anything near living in SF itself, but it seems like the commuting would take away much of our ability to enjoy it anyway. Not to mention we wouldn’t be able to both have a car living in SF, but we are both going to need one.

Will we be COMPLETELY miserable in the region I mentioned? Are there pockets of people in their 20s & 30s, do any of the “downtown” sections of these cities have enjoyable atmospheres?

I appreciate realism but I don’t need any cynicism please! I know it won’t be the same as city life but middle grounds also exist.