Made jambalaya the other day. I’m queer and 30. Exploring dating apps after a crappy relationship ended 6 months ago. My dating experiences have been rather normal-boring, just haven’t clicked with anyone. I’m thrown off by how sexual people try to get when the date was just “this wasn’t absolutely horrible”. I have been trying to be more intentional and not just grabbing dinner/drinks with whoever. Let’s chat over FaceTime, let’s just go for a walk and get to know each other. Not having much of a spark nor being hugely turned off from anyone yet, I’ve been open and hopeful. This last situation has scared me into taking a break from dating, which I think is needed  

Facetime 1: Seemed very sweet, little bit rambley and over talkative but this is preferred over the blasé people I’ve been meeting lately. 

Date 1: We went for a walk. She’s experienced some hardships and didn’t go into graphic detail and I resonate with a lot of it. Randomly burst out crying in the middle of a convo…said this was because I mentioned being more intentional about dating and this made her think about rejecting someone she was seeing after we FaceTimed?? Didnt realize you had a roster bc you emphasized monogamy. The crying was a bit odd but I’m not heartless, at least she tried to explain after and calmed down. If the next time we talk it’s a big graphic trauma dump then I’ll exit. 

FaceTime 2: Love and sex addiction. Drug addiction. 12 step program. Intensive therapy. Crush on last roommate who she is spending a week with later this month. Graphic sexual stories I didn’t ask for. Some of this is recent, some of this is a few years ago, some of this is 10 years ago, all over the place. Sounds like she is still in touch with the people from the sex stories. Wont directly answer any questions, I barely say anything. Every sentence is a twist and turn and jump scare. Not that I even care but based on the stories we wouldn’t even be sexually compatible on a basic level. I did not need all this info over an hour FaceTime date where I was unwinding after the gym and the only question I asked was “so what were you looking for on this app“ I was speechless, “oh wow…glad you’re in a better place now…” Eventually I say sorry gotta go shower and go to bed… 

Blocked. 



Jump scared out of dating